On Yom Kippur we confront our mortality. We wear white as a sign of the purity that Yom Kippur brings. But white is also a reminder of tachrichin, the white burial shrouds that a Hevre Kaddisha dresses a body in while preparing it for burial. We fast this day in part because it is a mitzvah and in part because it is a tradition and also to help us reach a higher spiritual plane, but also because we are like the dead who do not eat; we forgo all bodily desires. We remember the dead with Yizkor, while it is recited four times a year; more people come on Yom Kippur than at any other time of the year.

This year, like every year there are many notable people who died. Some of them may have touched our lives, others are simply interesting to note. Each year a rabbi creates such a list, this year it was done by Rabbi Arthur Weiner of Paramus. I have culled a few from his very long list that I want to share with you.

Rabbi David Lieber, z”l. who was President emeritus of the University of Judaism (now the American Jewish University), Rabbi Lieber served as senior editor of Etz Hayim: Torah and Commentary that we use in our sanctuary.

William Mark Felt, who was the No. 2 official at the FBI when he helped bring down President Richard Nixon by resisting the Watergate cover-up and becoming Deep Throat, the most famous anonymous source in American history.

Ricardo Montalbán, one of Hollywood’s first Latino leading men, whom we remember as the concierge of “Fantasy Island.”

John Updike, a talented writer.

Brad Van Pelt, a stalwart linebacker for the Giants. He played from 1973 to 1983, and for five consecutive seasons, from 1976 through 1980, was named to the Pro-Bowl.

Ron Silver, a versatile actor and independent-minded political activist most frequently allied with left-wing issues.

Bill Davidson, the Detroit Pistons’ Hall of Fame owner and noted philanthropist. He donated $15 million for the Davidson School of Jewish Education at JTS among other major gifts.

Bea Arthur, famous for her roles in the television sitcoms "Maude" and "The Golden Girls.” Born Bernice Frankel in New York, played Yenta the matchmaker in the original Broadway version of "Fiddler on the Roof."

Jack Kemp, the one-time Republican vice-presidential candidate known for his affection and activism for Israel. Kemp, a star quarterback with the Buffalo Bills, was elected from upstate New York to the U.S. Congress in 1970.

Dom DeLuise, a pudgy actor whose manic grin and air of desperation added a comic bounce to films.

Rabbi Gerald Wolpe, Rabbi of the 1,500-family Har Zion Temple in Philadelphia for 30 years, one of the country’s most prominent rabbis and medical ethicists.

Amos Elon, an Israeli essayist and author who examined his society’s flaws and myths, and became one of its most renowned public intellectual.

David Carradine, the actor who became famous in the 1970s when he starred as traveling Shaolin monk Kwai Chang Caine in the television series "Kung Fu." Modern audiences may know him best as "Bill" in Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill" films.

Ed McMahon, Johnny Cason’s sidekick and straight man for over 30 years.

Farrah Fawcett, actress and television star of Charlie’s Angels fame. She first became famous when a poster of her in a red bathing suit sold more than twice as many copies as posters of Marilyn Monroe and Betty Grable combined.

Steve McNair, former NFL quarterback who shared the league’s MVP award in 2003.

Michael Jackson, the undisputed King of Pop.

Corazon Aquino of the Philippines, who was swept into office on a wave of “people power” in 1986 and then faced down half a dozen coup attempts in 6 yrs as president.

Stanley Kaplan, the founder of the Kaplan prep center for standardized tests and a prolific Jewish philanthropist.

Sen. Edward Kennedy, the “Lion of the Senate.”

Mary Travers of the folk rock group Peter, Paul and Mary. They made songs like “Blowin’ in the Wind,” “If I Had a Hammer” and “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” enduring anthems of the 1960s protest movement.

Patrick Swayze, singer, dancer & actor who rose to stardom in the films “Dirty Dancing” and “Ghost” and whose 20-month battle with pancreatic cancer drew wide attention.

Beyond the rich and famous this was also a year of tremendous loss in our community. In your Yizkor Booklets is a list of loved ones that have died since last Rosh Hashanah. There are a lot of names on that list for our little shul. It has been very difficult year for many people in our congregation. We’ve seen too many funerals and shiva homes; we’ve run many shiva minyanim sometimes two at a time. Most recently just before Rosh Hashanah Jodi Kashmann and Zev Friede each buried a parent and then just before Yom Kippur Sam Eisenberg lost his mother only a year after the passing of his father. The only thing more difficult than shiva is the loss of shiva due to the intervention of a festival.

There are more names of members on that list than we have in a typical year as well. Five members have died since last Rosh Hashanah. We are reduced as a community by their passing – just before Pesah Janet Bacon was tragically taken from our midst, then later in the spring Mort Rochman died suddenly; Pearl
Zerolnick had been a Shabbat regular here for years and is dearly missed; Vivian Shrem had been a regular, but Alzheimer’s had taken her from our ranks long before she left this earth; then only five months after Janet’s passing, Bob Bacon left us to be reunited with his lifelong partner. As a community we mourn their passing and offer our condolences to the families.

But every cloud has a silver lining and here it has been the tremendous outpouring of support that we have seen not only from friendship circles in our congregation, but the way members of our shul have gone to shiva houses and showed up in shul to help make a minyan simply because they know it is the right thing to do. It is no secret that we struggle to make a minyan at every daily service that we hold. It is one of the issues that we are addressing. There has been talk of making them more creative, more interesting, and if we can find the magic formula that will help get people to minyan, you can be sure that we’ll employ it; but the bottom line is that we have an obligation to one another to make sure that everyone who comes looking for a minyan finds one. One of the simplest solutions that we have never implemented was suggested years ago by Alvin Edelstein. He proposed that if every member of the congregation committed to coming 12 times a year – on the date of their birthday every month, then we’d never want for a minyan again.   My birthday is Dec. 7^th so I’m committing to coming the 7^th of every month – twelve services and I’ve helped solve a problem, I’ve helped my fellow congregants. Try it, you might like it.

Each one of us responds to death differently. There is no one right way, but the Jewish way is certainly one that both honors the memory of the deceased and provides comfort and healing to the mourners; and after all that is the best that can be hoped for in these circumstances. It takes time and shiva gives us the necessary time to mourn intensely allowing us to return to our responsibilities and function. Sheloshim, the month of mourning; and a year of mourning a parent both takes a toll and provides a sense of comfort to those that allow it to.

There have been all these deaths and traditionally one does not begin to say Yizkor for someone until after you have observed their first yahrzeit. However, I can tell you from speaking with people who have been through the experience that they find it difficult if not impossible to not recite the hazkara for the person who died most recently. It is the most recent loss that is usually the most painful, that preys upon one’s mind and occupies your thoughts. So what do we do with these feelings? Traditions teaches that we try to make something positive out of our pain and sadness. It is very Jewish to engage in Torah study in memory of a loved one; we give tzedakah in their memory; you can sponsor a speaker here at the synagogue, you can host a Kiddish, we go to minyan and say Kaddish. The death of a loved one can be an opportunity for healing within a broken family; it can be an opportunity to reconnect one to the congregation and to Jewish tradition.

You will take from this Yom Kippur based upon you put into it, like any other endeavor in life. No pain, no gain. So if you embrace the restrictions of the day, if you devote yourself to prayer and contemplation, then you stand a chance of coming out the other side feeling renewed, refreshed, reconnected. Yom Kippur is not easy, but then again, life is not easy. It takes time and effort; you have to work at it. God willing, the reward will be commensurate with the commitment.

Remember that Yom Kippur is not an ending; it is a part of a process. Teshuvah and forgiveness at this season of the year continues according to tradition through Hoshanah Rabbah another ten days from now. So if you have not yet put your spiritual house in order, it is never too late, you can start now.

Wishing you a Tzom Kal/an Easy Fast and G’mar Hatima Tova/May you be Sealed for a Good Year